Tattina Spencer

"I still can't believe you're doing this."

I pouted my lips and rushed to father's side while he sat on his chair in his office at home. "Daddy, please... Tell me you understand."

It was the next day, approximately around 10 am, and I was back in Spencer Heights, talking to my Dad after I nearly knocked him out unconscious with the news of Donnie's project.

"Tatt, princess, you know I want you to be happy. You know I support all the talents you want to develop. But you're on your last semester. Can't you wait until you get your degree? You can do all the theater work you want anywhere in the world. I'll even fund a project of your own, if you want."

"No, Dad. You know I don't want that. I don't want to get somewhere just because I'm your daughter," I argued softly. "How can I be proud of myself if everything I achieve is all going to be handed to me just like that."

My father sighed, pulling at his hair in gentle agitation. "Okay, I get that. But to throw away all your hard work in the last three and a half years for show business? I'm not very reassured about that, princess."

I took a deep breath and held his hands in mine. "I'm still going back to school. I'll still get my degree. I'm just saying that it has to wait a bit. Maybe next year. Right now, I just feel that I'm called to do something else. Something amazing that I thought I could never do. Have you ever felt that way, Dad? Being able to do something you only imagined?"

He looked at me and smiled. "Yeah, sure. Like marrying your mom and being a father to you."

I grinned and kissed his cheek. "Dad, I promise, I'll take one shot at this. If it doesn't work out, I'll go back to school, I'll take that apprenticeship at the company that you've been wanting me to do --"

"And get married and give me grand kids?"

I bit my lip but nodded anyway, "That too, if Ethan and I work out--"

"Oh, you'll work out. That kid is crazy about you. Have you told him about this?"

"Not yet. I thought I should talk to you first. Please Daddy? I just don't want you to be mad at me."

He sighed and kissed me on the forehead. "I think that if there's one person you should worry about, it's your mother, not me. You know I won't be able to say no to you anyway."

I beamed and leaped to my feet. "Thank you, Daddy! You are truly the best!"

I hugged him so tight that he burst out laughing and pretended to choke. Then I ran to my parents' room where my mother has gone back to sleep as she just came in from her early morning yoga class. She was in bed with an eye mask on.

"Mommy?"

She didn't move. "Oh God, Tattina. I don't want to talk to you right now. Go be Britney Spears or die your hair pink or whatever it is that you feel will hurt me and your father best. You are of the right age. Do what you want. You never listen to us anyway."

"Mom! You're overreacting. It's not like I can't go back to school next year!"

She groaned. "Oh please, don't make it sound so easy. Today you'll be doing theater costumes, tomorrow, what? Drugs? You're just throwing everything good in your life away."

I smiled and lifted the mask off her eyes. "Mom, you know what? It doesn't matter to me whether I'll regret this later or not. I'm just thrilled and happy to be doing this and nothing can spoil that. Not even you. And I love you, despite it all."

She opened her eyes and looked at me with her blue eyes and just shook her head before pulling the mask back on. "You are really your father's daughter. Go. Don't wake me till noon."

I was thrilled.

For the first time in my life, I was looking forward to something so exciting that I couldn't contain myself.

I left Lucia to unpack the clothes she just packed yesterday and dipped in the tub for an hour. Then I put on a new pair of Roberto Cavalli jeans, a peach-colored cashmere sweater, a dark pink coat, and tan suede boots.

I drove to 96th Street where Ethan's apartment was located.

Of course his unit was locked when I got there and not knowing where the key was, I located the fire exit, as I used to with Philip's apartment and quietly climbed through it until I got to the door that led to his kitchen. Fortunately, it was open and I was able to squeeze through.

His place, very much like a guy's, looked like this:

 

I snooped around a bit, just curious of the other details that referred to Ethan. There were so many things I still did not know about him like what cereal he ate or books he read.

He wore a dark brown leather jacket last night as it was strewn on the couch. He had an empty bottle of  Budweiser left on the kitchen counter and on the fridge he had a note of my dorm room number and this picture of me.

This sure wasn't taken yesterday or in the last three days we've been together. I had to flip it around to see the date at the back. This was in our senior year in high school.

At the back, it said,

"Dearest Martina,

    We rocked high school, didn't we? Keep in touch! Much love, Tattina"

It was a picture the photo journalist in our high school paper, where I was an opinion editor, took of me. What is Ethan doing with it?

I heard a light thud and tiptoed to the room.

Ethan was still in bed, topless under the sheets. God, I hope he had something on at least.

Apparently, he kicked the book he had been reading off the bed . I picked it up from the floor. It was Walden by Henry David Thoreau. I would have never, in a million years, thought that Ethan read Thoreau.

I lightly sat on the bed and peered at an open leather journal on his nightstand. I didn't know he kept a journal as well.

I didn't dare to touch it, but I was craning my neck to see the writings on the page.

"Read that and I'll throw you off the window."

I whirled around and found Ethan speaking, his eyes still closed.

"God, Ethan, you scared me!"

He cracked one eye open and grinned rakishly. "Shouldn't I be the one scared out of my mind? You're like an apparition there. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Yale?"

I grinned and sat on the bed, back resting against the head board, legs and boots up on the end of the mattress. "Maybe. Maybe not. Aren't you glad to see me?"

"Depends on what brought you here? Is everything okay?"

"Uh-huh. Everything's great and wonderful."

He raised a brow. "That still doesn't answer why you're here. Aren't your classes supposed to start today?"

I took a deep breath and went on to tell him all about Donnie and our play a year ago and all the good news and my new plans.

When it was over, he was halfway sitting up the bed, (thankfully, I spied some checkered boxer shorts underneath), his eyes narrowed as if he was still digesting it.

"So this means you'll be in New York for now?"

I nodded happily. "Yup. Isn't that great news?"

"Uhm, yeah, it is," he muttered, rubbing his chin before suddenly grabbing me by the waist and rolling me on top of him.

"Ethan! What are you doing?!!!"

He was laughing as he rolled on top of me, his face, lowering to mine. "I'm just being happy. I was wondering the entire night last night as to whether I should move to Connecticut or not."

I looked at him in incredulity. "Seriously, you weren't."

"Yes, I was. I even called up a friend in real estate and asked him if there were any apartments up for grabs that are close to your campus."

"Why would you do that?"

"Just because. I wanted to."

I smiled and patted his bare shoulder. "Well, now you won't have to worry about that. I'll be sticking around, until you can't stand me anymore."

He grinned and brushed back some hair off my face. "Never gonna happen."

I looked at him and thought of how good he looked in the morning and before I could stop myself, I lifted my head and kissed him softly on the mouth.

Embarrassed, I looked away, licking my lips. But then he tipped my chin up and kissed me more deeply.

We were still kissing when his phone rang and the answering machine picked up. I could hear Ethan's voice in the background saying, "Hey, this is Ethan. I'm out so just leave a message and I'll call you back. Thanks."

Then a female voice came on --a very familiar female voice.

"Hey Ethan, it's Macy! Still up for that lunch date? (giggling) Well, I am. We can go to CHRIST CELLA'S. I have booking there. Pick me up in an hour? We can pick up from where we left off last night. See ya!"

I froze and pushed Ethan away.

"What was Macy talking about?" I demanded, embarrassed and infuriated. "So you two have a lunchdate. Fine. I shouldn't have gone here."

"Tatt, wait!"

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before fixing my hair and making my way out of the bedroom. "I can't believe I came here in the first place! What was I thinking?"

Ethan grabbed my arm but I shook it back. "Tatt, wait. It's not what you think. Macy and I were talking --"

"Hold it! I don't want to hear it because I'm not at all interested in what little thinking Macy is capable of doing.I'm leaving, okay?"

I was mad. My cheeks were trembling. I tried to make my way back to the window at the kitchen.

"Tatt, just calm down and listen to me first."

"I don't want to. I don't care. GO PICK UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF WITH MACY!"

I scrambled on my way out of the window, just as Ethan reached out and grabbed my arm again. "Tatt, get back in here. You could fall --"

"Well, then won't that be so convenient for you and Macy?"

"Tatt, I mean it. Calm down and let me explain first--"

"No!" I yelled at him before pulling back my arm but I lost my balance and fell back against  railing, my heel getting caught in between the steel bars of the flooring and breaking off my shoe.

"Look! Look at what you did! I broke my heel!"

I almost burst out crying in frustration but I sniffed it back and sat on a slight platform of the fire exit. I slipped off my boot to take a look at the damage.

"Tatt... I'm sorry," Ethan gently said, stepping out of the window and sitting next to me. "Let me see."

I handed him the boot before burying my face in my hands. "I hate you."

"I know." He sighed. "Look, I can fix this. Let's go back inside and I'll fix this."

I straightened up and snatched the boot from him. "No. You have a lunch date with Macy, remember? I'll just leave."

He took my hand and angled my face toward him. "Tatt, listen. I was talking to Macy about the new bands in the city because my father wanted me to recruit some fresh New York talent. That's all. As for the lunch date, I've never agreed to or heard that we're having one until she called five minutes ago. I'm not going, of course."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You would've if I wasn't here."

He looked at me and shrugged. "Well, I would but it would all be on a platonic aspect. Now that you obviously mind, I wouldn't."

I pouted. "I'm not being jealous, you know. I just know for a fact that Macy is up to no good and I'm annoyed that you seem to be falling for her innocent front."

He laughed. "Uh-huh. Sure, you're not jealous. I can't see that at all."

I punched his arm. "You're mean."

"Yup, I'm mean and you're impossible. Come on, let's get back inside before I freeze my lungs out here and this fire exit falls off its hinges completely."

"Stay here and I'll call her to say I'm not going."

He left me by the kitchen where I sat by the counter and began leafing through some cooking magazines.

All the while, I was feeling horrible for 1) cheating on Philip (there's no milder term for it, not that I deserve any mildness for my sin) 2) berating Ethan without giving him a chance to explain and 3) for my growing feelings and attachment to Ethan.

I glanced at the engagement ring on my finger and wondered if this whole engagement scheme was fast becoming the real thing.

I groaned and buried my face on my hands.

Then I felt Ethan's arms wrap around my waist from behind and his head rest against my neck.

"Feeling better now?" he asked.

"No, not really," I mumbled, reaching for his hand and putting mine over it. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"That's okay. I'm sorry too, for upsetting you."

I turned within his arms and found him leaning in to kiss me.

"You're very good at this,"I mumbled between kisses.

"At what? Kissing?" he asked, his kisses trailing down my neck.

"Yeah, that and confusing me."

He smirked and went back to my mouth. "I try. Maybe it's just in your confusion that I can have a  chance."

I'm not sure what he meant by that but I had no opportunity to ask as he picked me up by the waist and brought me to the bed where we spent the next three hours.

I didn't want to leave but it was almost 2 pm and I had to meet with Donnie for our meeting with the executives. My first day on a real job. I can't be late.

Even when I had a beautiful man in bed.

God, what happened to me?

I left school, cheated on my comatose fiance and had sex right before I start my first job.

Did I change overnight?

Or did I just become who I'm really supposed to be all this time?

When I got to my dorm, I was alone.

My room mate Len Markins wasn't around yet and I revelled in that. The moment I got there, I threw myself on the bed, stared at the white ceiling and thought about the kiss with Ethan.

Why did I kiss him like that?

How can I kiss him like that when I'm supposed to be in love with another guy?

And how come even if I'm beating myself up in guilt, I can't take that kiss off my mind?

My cellphone blared and I fished it out of my bag, not looking at the screen before answering it.

"So, you made it okay?"

"Ethan." I took a deep breath and sat up. "Yeah, I made it okay. Just got in. No room mate yet. Not until tomorrow anyway."

"That's good to hear. When are you coming back here?"

I couldn't resist a smile. "Ethan, I just left New York."

"So? I already miss you."

"Ethan... don't," I told him, getting up and walking to the window. It was dark outside. It was a little half past seven in the evening.

"Don't what?"

"Don't... Don't confuse me." I decided to be honest. There was no other way.

He was quiet for a while. "How am I confusing you?"

"Ethan, just stop."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I really am. It's a bit difficult to get my hands off you."

I grinned. "I'll get you handcuffs."

He scoffed. "Don't give me ideas. Well, I guess I better let you be on your own for now. You do have six suitcases to unpack."

"Don't make fun of me," I said in mock reprimand, suppressing a giggle. "I still don't have enough clothes. That makes me feel bad, you know."

"Crazy girl," he muttered. "Well, I gotta go anyway. I'll be meeting some old friends."

I tuned in curiously. "Really? Like who?"

"Well, Sebastian Rollins, Ed Steeder. Macy called me actually. She ranted on and on about not telling anyone I was back and engaged to you. They wanted to meet up for some drinks. I thought I should go out and socialize a bit, as per your advice."

I stood still. "Oh."

"Don't worry. I'll avoid questions about us. I'm very good at dealing with nosy people."

I scoffed. "I don't think so. Look at what happened that night when Dad caught us in your car."

"Well, that was different. I'll be good."

"Be cautious around Macy. She's nosy and suspicious about everything relevant to me,"I reminded him, suddenly dying of paranoia as to what will happen. "And she used to have the hots for you."

He paused for a second. "Are you jealous?"

I wrinkled my nose. "What? No way. Are you kidding?"

"Nah. It's just that you sounded, concerned about Macy having a crush on me before."

I put my hand on my hip. "All I'm saying is that I don't want her salivating all over you tonight as it will completely scandalize my father and my family. To the world, you are engaged to me, so unfortunately you'll have to live with some conditions that come with that."

"Relax, I know, I know, okay?" He almost sounded amused. "I already have enough to worry about with just one blonde. I don't need another."

"Good."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well, goodnight. Have a good time."

"I will, even if you don't really mean that."

"Hey!"

"I'm just kidding. I'll talk to you in the morning. Bye!"

Ethan.

One moment he's cranky, the next he's deep. Another he's sweet, the next he's crazy.

I ignored my suitcases and went to check on the stack of mail I picked up on my way to the room.

I was leafing through some letters and announcements when I came across a flyer for a post-holiday party at Orange Lantern, the new bar and restaurant that was still in construction when I left for the holidays. It was right next to Koffee Too, with a rich Oriental design and rumored to have one of the best DJs in the city.

I decided to go alone. I have my university car (which is a new orange Land Rover). I had my Dad buy it right then and there at the first release.

 

 

I was fixing my hair when my phone blared again.

I expected it to be my mother but I was surprised to hear a male voice.

"Tatt? It's Donnie Levington, remember?"

"Donnie! Oh my God, how have you been? How was your play in Paris?"

Donnie was a senior here at Yale last year and we worked together in his first showcase theater play for the Yale Cabaret entitled Adam Meets Eve. It was a semi-musical comedy on how modern men and women meet, interact, romance each other and develop tighter bonds. I'm a big fan of the theater here and I rarely miss the shows. I knew Donnie through a classmate of mine who was then dating the scriptwriter of the show. It was Donnie's showcase entry targetted to win him a producer who will fund his works and it was on a very tight budget. They couldn't afford to hire other people to work for him as everyone else was doing their own showcases and Arianne Ferguson, who was my classmate, volunteered me to do the costumes for him. Apparently, she'd seen some of the sketches I have in my dorm room when she would come over to study as we were in the same study group. I hesitated at the beginning but when I read the script, all these pictures came to my head that I just started sketching them until I had a full cast in costumes. The play was a big hit - it was alive and vibrant with colors and loud and intelligent. It won Donnie another production in Paris where he moved to after graduation.

"It was fantastic. The critics raved!"

Donnie by the way, is gay.

"And what's better is that an American theater production company has offered me to recreate Adam Meets Eve for Broadway! In June! And we're starting full-time production tomorrow!"

I beamed. "Wow! That's great news! I'm so proud of you darling!"

"Not as proud as I am of you!" Donnie gushed. "The truth is, one of their executives was reviewing some of my work. They saw Adam Meets Eve and they loved it. When they signed me on to it, they made me promise that I will use the same production design and costumes, just bigger and better. Which means, I need you to do the costumes for me, Tatt."

I froze. "What?"

"I want you to come aboard as my Head Costume Designer. Not just for Adam Meets Eve but for the three other plays they've commissioned me to do. We meet with them tomorrow afternoon for the contract and all. What do you say?"

"B-but I have school..."

"I know, sweetheart. That's why I'm giving you some time to think. Call me tomorrow morning?"

I snorted. "Wow, a few hours is what you call time to think? Donnie, are you crazy?"

"Of course I am! I just thought I'd give it a shot! I saw how much you loved it when we were doing Adam Meets Eve. You have a talent for this, Tatt. I'm just saying that here's a once in a lifetime opportunity to go after something you might be truly passionate for other than African Studies and international policies!"

"Oh God," I muttered, sitting in bed, suddenly SOOOO confused.

"Think about it, sweetheart. Actually, I take that back. Don't even think about it. Just follow your heart." Donnie just burst out laughing. "Oh, and in case it will interest you, the next two plays I'm working on are The Marilyn Monroe Dress and The Twelve Year Treaty Between Mr. and Mrs. Jones. The Marilyn Dress will be totally glamorous and sexy. Just like her. The second will be belly-buster. I rolled on the floor laughing and couldn't stop when I read the script."

"Donnie! What in the world do you expect me to do?!"

"Me? I'd say, pack your bags and all your Manolos and Choos and get your butt here in Manhattan before 2 pm tomorrow. That's what I say you should do."

 

The next day, Dad came home abounding with energy and youth.

He just left Las Vegas where Ethan's father is stationed, exuberant that his daughter's future father-in-law is ecstatic about the news of the impending marriage.

Arthur Vannard will fly in at the end of the month with his wife to meet our family.

Sigh, sigh, sigh.

And the plot thickens.

I was getting ready to head back to Yale that afternoon. I wasn't allowed to be there for Philip's transport to Grenada. They wanted to keep it confidential though his dad promised me visitation privileges as soon as he's settled in.

I was exhausted. I didn't feel like going back to school. I didn't feel like doing thesis, dealing with teachers and stubborn case studies. I didn't want to deal with nosy schoolmates too.

My phone rang at 2 pm.

"Come on, let's go," was Ethan's preliminary statement.

"Go where?" I asked as I helped Lucia pack my suitcase. "I'm leaving at six and I'm not done packing yet."

"I'll pick you up in five minutes," he said. "Ask Lucia to kindly finish your packing. I'll see you! Bye!"

Five minutes later, he came bounding to my room. "You're not ready, yet?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going. I need to get this done before five. I need to personally pick my clothes."

His face crumpled like a kid as he got to his knees in front of the bed where I was sitting, and peered closely to my face. "It will just take an hour. Come on. Please???"

I blushed and looked at Lucia in embarrassment as the old lady looked away smiling. "What is so important anyway?"

He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "First date-last date on your stay here in New York before leaving for school. So come on!"

I laughed and got pulled up to my feet. "Wait! Let me get my bag!"

"You don't need it,"he said before sweeping me up into his arms and marching down out of the bedroom. "Thank you for packing her stuff Lucia! I'll have her back in an hour!"

I was giggling as he carried me down the stairs. We ran into my mother who just came in but Ethan barely stopped. "I'll return her in an hour Mrs. Spencer. Just a quick date."

I won't forget the surprised look on my mother's face that second we passed her. She obviously wasn't used to spontaneous, wild-type guys like Ethan.

Ethan finally deposited me in the passenger seat of his car before hopping in and driving off.

"Where are we going?" I asked him, curious and excited.

He smirked. "Nothing grand. There won't be fireworks or an orchestra for sure. I just thought it won't hurt to cheer you up a bit before leaving for school."

"Okay. But it better be good if you took me away for an hour from my packing. It's serious. You could totally compromise my style at school because Lucia didn't pack all the right clothes."

He grinned and reached forward to tap my chin. "Women and their obssession with fashion. You'd look good even with rags on."

"How would you know, you've never seen me in rags," I retorted smugly. "And I won't even try to prove that point."

He nodded and finally parked along Central Park. "Come on, let's go."

We got out and I followed him to the trunk where he pulled out a wicker basket and a roll of mat.

I immediately brightened. "Wow! A picnic!"

He looked at me and smirked. "You're such a kid. Come on, watch your step. Let's get going."

We headed to Bethesda Fountain where we boarded a row boat. We put the mat on the floor and I watched as Ethan took out canisters of food from the basket.

"Did you make all these?" I asked, taking the sandwich he handed me. "You know how to cook?"

He shrugged and opened a bottle of apple cider. "A little bit. Just the basics. I'm nowhere near a culinary genius. It's healthy though."

"And delicious,"I murmured, sitting back and watching the sky as I slowly chewed on the sandwich.

I was quiet for a long time. I was just thinking and floating away. The warmth felt nice. For once, I didn't care about the UV rays.

"This is really nice,"I mumbled, glancing at Ethan who was just looking at me and sipping his glass of cider. "Thanks. It's very... relaxing."

"It is. I go here to clear my head. People never notice me."

I got up and waited for him to fill my glass. "I don't remember ever being here. Dad was always wary of parks. And my Mom hated this much sun."

"Did you miss New York a lot, while you were in London?"

He nodded and looked around. "Every damn day. I missed a lot of things about it. The traffic, the Brooklyn Bridge, the noise, the old places I loved. I missed the people too."

I eyed him haughtily. "Really? How can you miss people you don't hang out with? You were always distant."

"To you I may seem that way. It doesn't mean I can't watch and like people from afar."

"Who did you like in prep school? People you remember the most."

He furrowed his brows in thought. "Hmm... Tricky. Well, I liked Benedict Herman, my seatmate for two years because he shut up and let me go about my own business. He never told on me or tried to be chummy with me. I liked Professor Harris. I think she was hot and brainy."

I laughed.

"I liked Jim Porter, the custodian who cleaned the indoor pool. He let me swim even after practice hours when I didn't want to go home yet. I liked Sophie Johnson because she had a great, mesmerizing voice. I liked Philip too because he was just cool and humble. He didn't like showing off with the rest of the guys. I liked Carrol too because she's so naive it's just wrong to hate anything about her."

"What about me? Did you like me?" I asked with a teasing smile."Or was I too talkative or too arrogant?"

He smirked. "Yeah, I liked you. You were blonde and blue-eyed and beautiful and rich --typically almost perfect. But you were sharp-tongued. And smart. And tough. But you were kind and gentle at the same time. You were prepped up to be the perfect lady and somehow you were but with a little twist. You don't quite follow the rules when people expect you to, yet you do things no one expects you to do."

"Yeah, I can be weird that way sometimes," I told him with a faint, amused smile, looking at my porcelain white feet, disappearing into my pretty, pale pink Christian Louboutin shoes. "I guess, it's because in my head, my first thought is always not what people think I'm supposed to. Though a lot of my decisions are dictated by that, they come later in as a factor, only after my mother or other people have hit me in the head and reminded me of it."

"Don't you get tired of it?"

"Tired of what?"

"Letting the world have its way with you. Influencing your decisions."

I smiled and rewrapped what was left of my sandwich. "As my mother would say, privilege has its price. We pay it everyday of our lives. It's almost instinctive."

He nodded. "I know. That has driven me nuts a long time ago. It had me scramming  for the door. I didn't want it. I didn't want people telling me what I was supposed to do with my life."

I smirked. "I don't think anyone was ever able to, anyway. Not with you. You always fought back against anything expected of you."

"That had its price too," he admitted, wincing. "A lot of rejection, a lot of arguments with my father, very few friends, shadowy credentials into the privileged world, many lonely years."

The last part felt like a heavy pull at my heart. I instinctively reached out and put my hand over his which rested on the edge of the boat. "Didn't you have someone special in your life?"

He looked at our hands then at me and smiled gently. "Not the one I wanted anyway. But I'm fine. I think the part of my life that's seeking out to turn everything in my world upside down is wrapping up. Life in London changed me."

"How?"

"Let's just say I realized that the best way to like yourself is to accept who you are and do the best that you can about it."

He sighed and slowly laced his fingers through mine. I did not pull away. "I'm tired, Tatt. I'm tired of fighting everything. I always lose something in the end anyway, no matter what."

I bit my lip and looked down, feeling sad and hollow.

Our miseries sometimes can be wordless and seemingly too superficial for the world to understand yet they weigh us down like chains bound to ground.

"Come here," I mumbled to him, leaning forward.

"What?" he asked in confusion before I slipped my arms around him and held him in a tender hug. He grew still for a minute before putting his own arms around me, his hand gently rubbing my hair.

"I'm sorry that I disliked you a lot and that I was mean to you,"I murmured against the sleeve of his sweater. "I'm sorry that I took out my problems on you. And thank you for being good to me in the last three days or so."

He laughed softly. "You're forgiven. And I'm sorry too, if I'd been such a jerk back then. And thank you too for giving me a chance."

I pulled away a bit so I could look into his eyes. "You're officially a friend and that means I get to kick your butt if don't straighten up."

He smiled and patted the tip of my nose. "How can one never guess what a bulldozer of a woman you are?"

I grinned. "'Coz I never make it obvious until it's too late for them. Deal?"

I saw him graze my face with his eyes before stopping at my mouth. I seriously thought he was going to kiss me again.

"Deal. And since we're now officially friends and you've imposed on me already, I will also kick, or maybe spank, your cute butt if you don't hold yourself up through all this. Wear shoes that will not only look pretty, but will hold your ground."

I giggled but nodded in a mock serious manner. "I will. I promise."

Two hours later, the silver Jaguar was waiting for me downstairs to take me to Westchester where my father's plane waits in the privtate airstrip of our county home there. I usually take the limousine but we were trying to avoid clueing in the gawkers about my leaving for school.

I was still a bit camoufaged from the public in a bright yellow jersey dress and tan trenchcoat, my hair wrapped in a dark brown scarf and my eyes concealed by big and heavily tinted Gucci sunglasses. I slipped through the back exit of Spencer Heights --a narrow strip of paved stones that lead through the crowded garden lush with flowers and ferns and vines and to the small gate that opened to the back alley.

"I'll come visit you, okay?" Ethan told me as we followed Rick, my bodyguard and chauffer through the walkway. "And I'll call. Every day."

I smiled and signaled at Rick to wait in the car. "You know that you don't need to. I know it's very inconvenient. I'll understand if you don't visit. We can go out when I come back here on some weekends."

"No, that's not enough," he argued, taking my hand and turning me to gently to face him. "Just trust me, I'll be there. I'll  make time. Just promise to be there when I show up at least. I don't know anybody in your school."

I laughed. "Maybe you should get to know some people. I know some pretty girls in our class."

"Funny. My fiancee can't possibly fix me up with another girl. That will just look bad," he joked, fixing the collar of my coat. "Even if a guy likes the idea of three babes in each arm."

I laughed and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Oh, you SO WISH."

He stuck his tongue out at me and pulled me into his arms. "Come on, one last hug before I let you go off to be your true wild college girl self at Yale."

I hugged him tight, happy and quite in a bright mood despite everything. "Well, while I'm off doing that, be a good boy here and try not to give my parents a heart attack."

He laughed, his voice softly tickling my ear. I lifted my head a bit and found my face a breath away from his.

I grew perfectly still.

Uh-huh. This is definitely like one of those scenes in the movies where the guy and the girl realize that there's only one thing to do: kiss.

But I can't! I'm not engaged to him for real! We're not even dating!

"Ethan..."

"Sshh..."

All words dived back into my throat when he leaned close and pressed his mouth on mine.

I had a brief instinct to flee.

But I didn't.

My toes curled and I found myself pressing closer to him, kissing him back.

For how long it went on, I don't know.

I just know that by the time we pulled away, all my nerve endings were electrified and I was out of breath.

"You.. You, shouldn't... have done.. that," I tried telling him in a trembling voice I barely recognized as my own.

His green eyes darkened as his thumb gently traced my chin. "I know."

"Then... why?"

"Because sometimes, I want to stop fighting myself."

He said that with a small, slightly apologetic smile before planting me back on my feet and motioning to the gate. "Go. You'll be late."

I stared at him for a long time, before clutching my bag tighter and running to the gate and into the waiting car.

 

I called Philip's parents to ask for permission to visit him late at night, after the visiting hours.

It was past ten in the evening when Ethan picked me up in a black Mercedes. He was in jeans, leather boots and dark gray sweatshirt and he wore a ratty black baseball cap.

I, on the otherhand, was in gray Vivienne Westwood seude boots, black Alberta Ferretti silk cropped pants, an ash-colored Domenico Vacca sweater and a pristine white Ann Demeulemeester long coat. My blond hair was neatly tied in a ponytail and for cover, I put on a pair of Fendi clear glasses.

"Nice get up," Ethan remarked with a crooked smile when he met me at the door. "Very dorky but trendy."

I stuck my tongue out at him and hurried to the car. "I don't want my pictures on the tabloids tomorrow morning. This has already gone far enough."

I was tottering too much that I almost slipped on the pavement if Ethan didn't catch my hand and pull me steady. "Hey easy, we're not on a race here. I'll get you there, okay?"

He held my hand until I was safely inside the car. I was nervous.

I didn't know how to face Philip. I was tortured with guilt.

Okay, I know Philip won't be up to ask me all sorts of questions or suspect anything with me, but I'd rather that he were than to see him unconscious on a hospital bed, breathing through a respirator.

I can't run away. Tomorrow, they'll be shipping him off to Grenada and God knows how long that will take. And by tomorrow afternoon, I should be on my way to Yale. God, I don't even want to think about school.

"Tatt?"

I looked down on my hand and saw it clasping Ethan's own tightly.

He smiled. "Uhm, I can't drive if you won't let go."

My cheeks burned and quickly let go of his hand. "Sorry, I'm just really tense."

"I know. Just relax. I'll be with you."

I was quiet all throughout the ride to the hospital.

When we got there, we had a couple of security guys who were watching over Philip, usher us to his private room discreetly.

"I'll wait here," Ethan told me just as we were approaching the door of the room where Philip was confined. "You two need a private moment."

I nodded at him gratefully before going inside.

I almost fainted. Philip's face was battered, with bruises and swelling all over the left side. He had at least half a dozen tubes going around him, machines beeping and making thes disturbing industrial noises.

I moved closer to his bed, touching his hand. "Philip... It's me. I'm sorry I couldn't be here sooner."

Tears started to fall. I tried wiping them but they were now coming in quiet torrents that I just stopped trying. "I'm sorry that I screwed things up. I'm sorry that I can't tell them about us. But I will. Don't worry about it. For now, just focus on getting better and waking up, okay? Okay, Philip? You promise?"

I bent my head and touched my forehead against his arm. "You'll be far away from me for a little bit but I'll go visit you as soon as they let me. You'll be okay there. They have the best technologies there to fix you up. Your dad will take care of you. He loves you very much."

I took a deep breath to keep my heart from bursting. "I love you very much. That will never change. And I will marry you. As promised. Just get better."

I stood up and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips.

I looked at him for a bit more before bile rised up my throat. Philip has always been strong and healthy. Now he's lying there like a vegetable, all beaten and weak.

I dashed out of the room and headed for the restroom, with Ethan running after me.

He found me in the women's restroom, puking my gut out by the sink.

"Do you need me to get you a doctor?" he asked, his face worry-stricken.  For a moment there, watching his face by the mirror, I almost smiled. "Tattina, talk to me. Are you okay? Goddammit!"

I washed the corners of my mouth and grabbed a wad of paper towels. "Just get me out of here."

Fifteen minutes later, we sat by the hood of his car, eating cheeseburger from Burger Joint (where I rarely eat) while parked somewhere along the Brooklyn Bridge Park Conservancy, watching the majestic Brooklyn Bridge at around midnight.

"I remember, Biology class: You got sent out of the room because you wouldn't open up that darn frog," Ethan was saying with a wry smile, before sipping his Coke. "Of course Mr. McEllins got reprimanded for embarrassing you but I remember you picking up that frog and standing outside the classroom until class was over. You didn't complain or fight back. I didn't understand why. You're usually outspoken."

I grinned. "Well, I knew the rules. I knew we were required to slice up that frog. It was part of the project. I couldn't complain about that. I just couldn't do it."

"You followed all the rules. Why?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Habit, I guess. I hate disappointing people."

"Even when they disappoint you?"

I looked at him and smiled. "Yeah, even when they disappoint me. I expect them to disappoint me. It keeps me from being bitter."

"Doesn't that make you vulnerable? Anyone can hurt you in that case."

"Not really. I take what they give. I don't ask for more. I don't dream for more. Though now I am beginning to realize that there are things I should insist on. Things I shouldn't sweep under the rug."

His eyes darkened. "Like your engagement with Philip?"

I looked into the distance, pursing my lips. "No. Not that. It belongs to my heart for now. Until he wakes up."

"What if he doesn't? Or what if it takes a long time?"

"I'll wait. I can wait."

"What are you going to do now?"

I turned to him and saw his faraway gaze. This surprises me to say but I do trust him -with things I won't trust anyone else with. How that happened, I have no idea.

"Be with you. If that's alright."

He looked at me and held me with his eyes for the longest time. "You know that it won't be easy. If you wanna get out, I suggest you get out now."

I sighed. "I can't and I won't. Don't talk me out of it. It took a lot to get me to decide on this. I don't need to change my mind right now."

"Why are you doing this? No one is forcing you to."

I shrugged. "It's the same with the frog. It's something that I have to do. It's required of me. And this time, I'm cutting that frog open."

He studied me for a while before nodding. "Okay. If that's what you want. I just have one condition."

"What's that?"

"If you want to get out, tell me. I don't want to hear it from anybody else."

I smiled and extended a hand. "Deal."

He smiled and shook my hand.

But he didn't let it go yet. "Well, now that we're going to play this game, I think it would be proper if you wear this."

He slipped a box out of his sweater's pocket and held it open. It was a beautiful, large, oval cut diamond ring with smaller diamonds encrusting the band.

He slipped it into my finger and brushed his fingertips softly over it. "It doesn't look too bad."

"Ethan, you know that you didn't have to."

He chuckled lightly. "Yes, I have to. Your Dad already mentioned that he didn't see a ring and that's why he never knew. I can't let Tattina Spencer be engaged and ringless. It just doesn't seem right."

My cheeks warmed as I looked at it closely. I remembered Philip's ring, as beautiful as this, hiding in it's box in a drawer by my bureau. I felt tears threatening to fall.

"Hey, no crying. I didn't get down on one knee and declare unconditional love so relax."

I rolled my eyes and sniffed. "You're so unromantic, it's terribly touching."

He laughed and ruffled my hair. "I'm just trying to not get you to fall in love with me. Most ladies do, you know, when I display the romantic in me."

I burst out laughing and I chased after him with a balled up burger wrapper as he jumped off the car and ran from me.

"You so wish, Ethan Vannard!!!"

Crazy.

Fall in love with him?

Not a chance.

Later that morning, our maid Lucia discovered me on the floor unconscious.

When I gained consciousness, the first face I saw looming over me was Ethan's. Actually, he wasn't looming over me. His face was right next to mine on the pillow and his eyes were closed.

I cringed at the dull ache on my left shoulder as I tried to move.

Immediately Ethan stirred and he instantly raised his head to look at me.  "You okay? Does anything hurt? Do you need anything?"

"Yeah,  I need you to move so I can lift my arm," I croaked, my voice raspy. "And maybe some water."

"Sure." He got up and handed me the glass of water sitting on my night stand. He helped me sit up and lean against my pillows, brushing hair off my face. "Here you go."

"Lucia walked in on you earlier and found you lying on the floor. Are you okay?" he asked, looking at me.

He was in jeans and what looked like a fresh white cotton sweater. "What are you doing here in my room?"

"Watching you. I stayed up all night so I guess I drifted off. I'm sorry,"he answered, getting up and walking to the windows to draw the curtains aside.

"Where are my parents?" I asked.

"Your dad is on his plane heading for Las Vegas to meet up with my father and your mom went to Mount Sinai Hospital to see Philip. He's been in an accident."

The truth of Philip's accident came back to me like a splash of icy cold water and I dropped the glass on the bed, soaking the front of my flannel gown.

"Hey, you okay?" Ethan reached for my robe as he hauled me off the bed in one motion. He lifted me and put me on the lounge chair, wrapping the robe on my shoulders. "I know he's your friend --"

"He's my fiance,"I retorted curtly before getting up and marching to my room-sized closet. "We were secretly engaged, you know that? And that's why I can't be engaged to you!"

He stood still, his back against the bright windows that casted a misty halo around him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought you two were just friends."

I sighed, tried to control my breathing, my hand resting on the knob of my closet door. "We've only been going out for a week. He proposed to me on the day we got together. And now this happened."

"He's in a coma. According to the news, the truck lost its brakes and realized it too late. He acquired injuries on his cerebellum and that put him on a coma. He's alive but the doctors don't know how long it will take for him to wake up. I'm sorry, Tatt."

Tears blurred my vision and before I realized what was happening, Ethan scooped me up in his arms and pressed my head against his chest as I sobbed my heart out.

"He can't die now, Ethan, he can't," I choked out, feeling my heart crush into little pieces. "Not when we're just starting out."

"He won't. Just hang in there," he murmured close to my ear, over and over again until I fell asleep.

Later that afternoon, we headed to the hospital. But just as we were about to get off his car,  a dozen gawkers appeared by the hospital entrance, snapping photos of us. I wanted to jump out and march into Philip's room but I knew it would be futile. I will just cause a scene.

"Let's come back later. Let's say hi to my cousins first before they leave the country."

Justine and Clara were attending the Harry Winston Showcase up in Fifth Avenue and Ethan drove us there. We found the sisters backstage, as they're considered VIP, talking with models who were going to strut outside wearing the newest designs of the house.

I was talking with the sisters about what happened to Philip (though no one else except Ethan knew that we were engaged) when I spotted Ethan talking to a dark-haired model. He was smiling and chuckling a bit and a brow raised.

"Oh, don't worry about it, Tatt," Clara reassured me, seeing what I was seeing, before hoisting her camera up to take a picture of him. "I'm sure he's just being friendly. He clearly loves you and only you."

I smirked and averted my attention. "I wouldn't count on that."

"Tattina!!!"

I turned around at the sound of Carrol's voice and I saw her rushing through the littered lobby and straight to my arms. "Oh my God, I came as soon as I heard. I couldn't leave Seattle till this morning. How is Philip?"

My eyes lined with tears again but I quickly blinked them back. "He's stable but no one knows when he's regaining consciousness."

Carrol's face crumpled with worry. "Oh dear. But his Dad's a renowned doctor. He can help him, right? I heard this morning that his father plans to move him to a private clinic in Grenada where he will undergo surgery and therapy."

I froze. "He will?"

"Yeah. It's on the news. They're not saying which hospital though. It's probably one of his dad's research labs. I hope to God that they fix him up. Philip's such a good guy, he doesn't deserve this kind of suffering."

I just nodded and hugged Carrol, wondering how many months it will be before I will see Philip well, smiling and kicking.

Carrol needed to leave before the showcase was over for her Dad's convention in Brunei where she will accompany him for two weeks, along with her mother.

Ethan and I parted with the sisters at the airport. Then he drove me home and said that he'll be back after dinner to pick me up for our visit to Philip. He just needed to make some calls and change.

Mom was waiting for me.

"I went to see Philip. His father is moving him to Grenada tomorrow morning. Pterson is devastated."

I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. "He's not the only one."

"Listen, I don't know what's happening here Tattina but you can't tell your father that you're dating Philip."

I looked up at her. "Why not?"

"Because you're engaged to Ethan."

My eyes widened. "I'm not. I never was."

"He doesn't know that. What he knows is that he saw you two making out in a car last night and that to him and the press, Ethan already confirmed that you're engaged. You have no idea what a relief that was to your father."

"But it's a mistake, mother! We were looking for Justine's earring. We weren't being promiscuous --"

"You've been on society pages since you were a fetus, Tattina," my mother snapped. "You know how the press can be. Do you honestly think they will buy that story? They've been trying to get dirt out of you in the last twenty one years and despite everything we've managed to keep yours and this family's name clean. Do you understand that?"

"Can't everyone just call it a mistake and move on?" I demanded, fairly angry now. "I am not engaged to Ethan and I will never be!"

Marcielle took a deep breath, sat next to me and held my shoulders. "Okay. Listen. Your father has always taken pride in preserving the honor of this family. He has always fought against being stereotyped as one of those rich, dysfunctional families portrayed by american culture. We, are a goddamned example of a perfect family. Your father survives with that. He will not let the Spencer name be dragged along the dirt. And you are royalty for crying out loud. You can never have any other reputation besides being perfect."

My eyes burned with tears. "How about that I'm human, mother? Doesn't that count too?"

She touched my chin gently. "Oh, but honey, with your privileges comes the responsibility to uphold certain things. No one needs to know about Philip for now. Let him recuperate. He'll be in good hands. Just give them a show. Go out with Ethan. Give it a chance. In a few months' time, if things don't work out, then you can simply tell your father that you and Ethan have both decided to part ways. Just don't retract everything he told the press because he will have no face to show them after that. Albert Spencer never retracts anything he says. Remember that, Tattina."

I looked at her, wanting to fight but I understood. My Dad has always been a hero to me. He never cheated, lied or betrayed his family. He never put us second to his work or his money. He never cancelled on anything with us. That's why Mom loved him so much. That's why I loved him so much.

"Do you know how much this will kill me?" I asked my mother in an even voice.

"Honey, women like us, don't die easy deaths. We are even stronger than the powerful men we choose to love and serve," was all she said before walking out of the room.

I composed myself and went to my room where I saw little presents left by my cousins. When I say little presents, it could mean a 30-carat diamond necklace from the sisters, just like this one they left on my dressing table. Along with it is an engagement card and a photo secured inside it.

It was a picture of Ethan backstage at the Harry Winston showcase.

I smiled. His rumpled dark blond hair, piercing green eyes and smug mouth.

Do I even realize what I'm doing?

My real fiance is in a coma about to be hauled off to a private clinic and here I am, telling everyone else that I'm engaged to another guy.

I mean no offense to Ethan. He's... He's been good to me in the last couple of days.

But my heart belongs to someone else...

There's no changing that, is there?

 

 

I got a call at 4:30 am.

It was from Mount Sinai Hospital.

At 3:53 am, Philip got rushed into the hospital after his car collided with an Pepsi truck and spun against a street lamp on Ninth Ave. He was on his way home from his night out with the Japanese investors.

I sat there on my bed, breaking into cold sweat like I never have in the last 21 years.

He took a blow to the head and is now in a coma. He's stable but still in a coma, and  may stay that way for a week to six months if his condition doesn't improve.

The phone dropped to the floor with a thud.

Then all I saw was blackness.

I have four days before my trip back to Yale.

In New York, four days could mean a private viewing at three designers' spring collection, about four runway after-parties, a magazine launch party, a designer anniversary party, a book-launch party, a new bar opening, a contemporary art exhibit and a broadway show.

Today, it turned out that four days could mean, getting caught with your underwear up in the air (metaphorically), being forced into an engagement and getting broadcasted on WNBC evening news the next day. 

I was planning on spending most of the last four days with Philip who had flown back in from Staten Island and perhaps do a few more last minute shopping sprees with Carrol. Carrol by the way, is home-schooled so she never has to worry about leaving anything behind for a few months.

This morning, after leaving Philip's place where we had breakfast, I got ready for an Anna Sui private viewing. Only girls/women with top shopping credentials (New York-speak for girls who shop at all the exclusive stores for not less than $5,000 per spree) are invited to these things. So far, there are only about eight girls under thirty and unemployed in New York City who are on that list.

In the middle of the show I got a call from my cousins Justine and Clara, daughters of the heir apparent for the Belgian crown. They're staying for a couple of days with us, to do some shopping and attend the Harry Winston showcase tomorrow. Justine is 22 and Clara's 19. They're both blonde and blue-eyed and fashion worhsippers. They travel all the time and drop in unannounced.

They flew in a six hours after their phone call. I was already at home with my parents for the dinner they've prepared for the sisters and Carrol and Philip would have joined us if Carrol didn't have a charity auction event to attend and if Philip didn't have Japanese clients to show around New York.

The sisters came in wearing matching ruby red outfits, their faces bright and grinning. They filled the dinner table with stories about everything that has happened since we last saw them two months ago. Clara's maltese, Picurnia, gave birth to six puppies, etc. The sisters, in my opinion, aren't the brightest girls on earth but I don't take it against them. They've been sheltered since birth. To them, everything in the world is peachy.

Later that night, we hit the newly opened Le Royale with the Bergdorf cousins, Megan and Paige.

(Below: Clara, Justine, Megan, Me and the girl with her nose right in front of the cam is Paige.)

 

We left at around 11 PM and dropped by the Michael Kors Pre-Party. I left the sisters to get look at the bar menu for a new cocktail drink to try and I was leaning against the counter, looking at what the bartender was mixing when someone fell into a step beside me.

"Can I get you anything? Tattina?" he said, still not looking at me but at the drinks by the counter instead.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He was tall and well-built, with light blond hair, hazel eyes and a lazy, smug tilt on his mouth. He looked very familiar.

"Ethan Vannard. Why am I suprised you're here in New York?" I muttered with a sarcastic smile.

He smiled in his usual smug manner and tipped his head at me. "Nice to see you too, Tattina. I can always see that you're happy to see me."

Okay, a quick trivia about Ethan. He was our schoolmate in prep school until he moved to London after graduation. We have never meshed well. He was a troublesome kid and everyone either hated or feared him. He used to sit on the chairs I've always been sitting on in class, he'd slam the door behind him as I was about to enter the door, he would attack every idea I have in class or date my friends after all my efforts at discouraging them. He was smart, I knew that but he was bossy, anti-social and goodlooking and knew it too well. I haven't seen him since the New Years's Eve party last year. Last time I heard he's been doing some modeling in London where he's studying Contemporary Art.

"Harhar. I'm completely ecstatic, can't you see?" I retorted, grabbing a glass that looked like Melon Melody.

"Well, it looks like you'll be that way a lot from now on considering I've moved back to New York," he said casually, almost causing me to choke on my drink.

He laughed a bit and handed me his handkerchief. "Hey, take it easy Tatt. I know you're happy but you don't need to choke for it."

I shot him a dagger look but let him dab the side of my mouth with the hanky considering my hands were now wet with the spilled drink. He took the glass from me and wrapped the hanky around my left hand. "Let me get you another glass."

I can't figure out why he's being... decent... to me. He was never a total jerk but he's always been a jerk.

By the way, the reason why Ethan has always been in the same circle with most of us is that his father only owns Vannard Music Int'l., the biggest recording company in North America. He was invited everywhere but he didn't have that many friends so he never quite fitted in.

He handed me another glass and we leaned against the counter to look at my cousins who are by the DJ's booth, bugging the DJ to play the songs they liked.

"I see you've brought the Belgian princesses and Bergdorf heiresses with you. Now, that's a nice circle of friends," he commented.

I took a sip of my drink. "How would you know? You don't have any of your own."

When he didn't say anything, I immediately realized what I said and was hit by a pang of guilt. I glanced at him and saw his distant expression. "I'm sorry. That was a little tactless."

He glanced at me and smirked. "Don't worry. Tact was never really a trait I associated with you. And you're right. I don't have as many friends as you do."

"That wasn't what I meant--"

"Relax Tattina. I took no offense," he interrupted me with a wry shake of his head. "How's school going for you?"

I bit my lip and tried to quell my guilt. "Almost done. You?"

"I quit. It just wasn't what I was looking for."

"Oh. Okay. Well, what are you looking for?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Hell, if I figured it out, I wouldn't have spent all that time at school or at London doing things I never really cared for to begin with."

I nodded slowly. "So this is what brought you back to New York, huh?"

"Maybe. I don't know. New York always felt right. I'm just trying it out again."

Jeez, I hate feeling like a jerk. I hate it when I was so convinced that a person is vile only to start hearing him sound like a real human.

"Well, we'd be around. In case you need to like, talk or hang out or something. You know my address."

He turned to me with an arched brow. "Is that Tattina Spencer being nice to me?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Hey, I'm just trying to help here. Take it or leave it."

He smiled and sipped his drink. "You're never quite who they all think you to be."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

He straightened up and put down his glass. "Nothing. Though we have to get going now. I see gawkers trying to get snapshots of your cousins. Haul them away, I'll stall them. And bring Megan and Paige with you. Paige looks like she's about to rip off her shirt. Make your way to the back door. My car's parked there. Blue Saleen. Go."

I caught the keys he threw to me, got to my feet, called Justine and Clara to follow me and grabbed the Bergdorf cousins by their wrists and wormed our way through the crowd.

When we got to the back lot, I immediately spotted the sleek blue Saleen and shephered the other girls towards it.

I opened the car and made them all sit together at the back. Justine and Clara were already blabbering in Dutch and the Bergdorf cousins are singing I Want To Be A Rockstar in duet. It's such an episode when princesses get drunk.

When I saw Ethan coming, I slipped into the passenger seat and handed him the keys as soon as he got in.

"Where are the bodyguards of your cousins?" he asked, revving the engine.

"Home. The sisters bullied them into staying. They can do that."

He smiled wryly as he steered the car out of the lot. "Of course they can. Isn't that the point of being a princess? Getting everything you want?"

"Be nice. They're good girls."

"Of course they are. They just don't know what they're doing, right?" He glanced at the rearview mirror."I guess we should drop off the Bergdorf cousins first. They look like they're about to puke in my car. The cocktail drinks in that place were crazy."

"Okay, sure. Let me call ahead and get someone to meet us at the door."

We dropped them off without much problem.

Then we headed to Spencer Heights where Tony, the sisters' head of security, was waiting for us at the door. Two of his men helped them out of the car and into the house. But while on her way up the steps, Justine turned to me and said, "Tatt, my other earring is missing. It's a blue tear-drop diamond heirloom.I dropped it somewhere."

"It's probably in the car. I'll take care of it."

I turned to Ethan with a look of request and he shrugged. "Go right ahead."

I crawled inside the backseat and tried to grope the floor for anything. The light inside wasn't very bright and I had trouble reaching for the corners. It was a sports car, for crying out loud.

"Need help?" Ethan asked before crawling in with me, reaching for the gaps between the seat and the backrest.

We probably didn't realize how long we've been doing that until I heard my father's booming voice: "Tattina, what in God's name are you doing with that boy?"

"Dad!" I yelped out in surprise, trying to crawl back out of the car in vain since mine and Ethan's bodies were wedged by the car door. It suddenly dawned on me that to anyone watching, it looked like our bodies were entwined as if we were making out with the car door open.

Uh-oh.

"Oh God! I need to get out. Move, Ethan! Come on!"

"Hang on, I'm moving --ow!" He banged his head against the roof before finally stepping back out of the car.

I scrambled out of the car, trying to pull down the skirt of my dress which had hiked up to my thighs. Then I saw flashing lightbulbs.

I turned and there was a pack of gawkers standing by the sidewalk taking photographs of us.

I felt blood drain out of my face.

"Get out! Get out of here!" my Dad was screaming at them, marching to the gawkers and waving his arms at them threateningly.

"Mr. Spencer, how do you feel about your daughter's indiscretion?"

"Sir, have you known that Tattina has been going out with Ethan Vannard?"

"How long have they been going out sir?"

"Have you known that she's been promiscuous?"

"Mr. Spencer --"

"Out! Can't you understand English, people?"

"Oh God," I muttered, about to crumple in tears when Ethan grabbed his coat and put it around me, turning me away so the cameras won't get a shot of my face.

"Sir, will you let them marry if Miss Spencer conceives Mr. Vannard's child?"

"How do you feel about this as a father, Mr. Spencer?"

"There's nothing to see here or to judge people! They're engaged! Engaged people can be affectionate if they want to. Now go, there's no story here tonight!"

I blanched.

Engaged? Me? To Ethan?

Oh. My. God. Daddy, what are you doing?!!!

The press went crazy.

"How long have they been engaged, Mr. Spencer?"

"Is she pregnant?"

"When is the wedding date, sir?"

"Is this why Ethan came home from his hiatus in London?"

Then, still with a protective arm around me, Ethan stepped forward and in a calm voice, said, "I deeply respect and love Tattina so what you've seen tonight is not going to be another of your run-of-the-mill society scandals. We will release official statements about our plans and everything else you need to know so there is no need to harrass the Spencer family tonight. Goodnight, everyone."

I cringed inwardly, burying my face on the sleeve of the coat.

My father nodded, suddenly gaining his composure and dignity, as he lifted his chin to the crowd of gawkers and turned to march back up the steps.

"Come on, let's go," Ethan murmured to me, helping me up the steps, leaving behind the sound of snapping cameras and flashing lightbulbs.

What have I gotten myself into?

It grew worse. The moment we got into my house, my cousins, who were watching the whole scene from the window, were jumping up and down in excitement, leaping to their feet to hug me as soon as I came through the door.

"We can't believe you're getting married Tattina!" Justine shrieked, giggling. "We've called mother and father and they're thrilled. They have forwa